Dear heart...
There is nothing to share right now except telling you what I truly think inside. It's not about how long we've been together, but also how much we spent the time that already passed. I didn't say that it was totally meaningless. Sometimes, i just can't hold my words. It somehow being the allergies...
In fact, I can felt that our path sometimes becoming unreal. It was a fantasy that never be happened and only unfettered dream. I already losing count about how many time I made the scars that should be ignored until its dissapear. So many times, I made you broke whenever I saw them gone away, pursuing their destiny, while I just sitting down here without any plan to go.
Over and over again, I made you falling down and seemed to mean nothing on my sight.
Don't care about what the parents told, or what was written on motivation book, or maybe some quotes that have been shared so many times in newsfeed on social media, telling about strengthen yourself, it makes me realized that i forgot one thing. A meaning that tell me to notice your presence which wasn't caught by my eyes. A meaning to be grateful for everything I had until now. A meaning to stay calm and down to earth whenever that insecurities comes...
In fact, I still don't care about who you are, still abandoned you. Still letting you enjoying the pain that I thought would be a fire until it can be reached. In the other hand, I realized that I was too weak and keep hoping that God still give me His mercy so I can pass this all.
In fact, I keep being a child which has a ton of dream while the spirit is getting dimmer. A child that still innocent without knowing where the fate will bringing her and have no idea to change her route yet.
Dear heart...
Please remind me whenever I make you sick without being aware. It must be painful to make you feel that wound for one more time, right? It's also exhausted to hurting yourself with all the memories of failure, right?
Please remind me for always be grateful to the things whatever comes to my life. I understand that it wasn't easy until I were in this point and keep holding you with this painfulness. It really was not easy. Enjoy this journey, but don't let yourself being too comfort with this.
Please remind me to keep moving forward without paying atention too much on whatever they do. Enjoy this journey without worrying too much. Hey, sometimes knowing other's life only from their photograph was making you sick. You (maybe) already know what story behind it. It could be the way they releasing something that bother on their soul.
Please remind me if everyone had their own chances. They might be never experienced what you ever done. So do you. What things you ever done maybe being anyone's dreams out there. Maybe, you already being someone's inspiration for their own journey.
Last...
Please remind me to not always blamming you with this painfulness. Remind me to loving you who taking part of my whole life. Cause you're my eternal partner, until my eyes getting closed when the time comes...
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